Tips for parenting

The following is a list of tips for parenting. Implementing any these steps will help your child grow into responsible adults and will also invite a better relationship between you and your child.

Use you parental authority wisely; save your no's for really important things. With pre-adolescents, a no once a week is plenty. By the same kids are fourteen, once a month should do; and by the time they are seventeen once a year should be enough.

Encourage or at least don't block, safe rebellion. These are areas where your kids can experiment without hurting anyone. The areas include such things as music, hair, cosmetics, fashions, their own room, use of time, friends and so on. Stay in the now and remember that what your kids do today is not what they’ll do forever and is not a mark of their character – it’s just part of their growing process.

Leave teens space to withdraw into their own private world, because they have a great need for privacy. Ignore their moods and don’t get into their doldrums. Love them even when they’re in a bad mood – it will probably get better soon.

Support your teens' fantasies, ideas and interests, even if you feel they aren't worthy of your teens’ time. Your kids need you to be their cheerleaders and advocates. If they decide to try something and it fails, they’ll learn more from that failure than if you discourage them from trying at all. Remember that you provided your toddlers with opportunities to explore. You need to do the same for your teens. These opportunities may include the use of cars, telephones, and computers, and attendance at concert and lessons, and so on. This is not to say you should pay for everything, but you could help your kids figure out how to get the things they really want.

Say things to your kids with a smile. This isn't always easy, but your kids hear you better when you keep your sense of humor instead of getting uptight with them. Saying, “ I notice” can be a lot gentler than “You never.” Have faith in your kids to figure things out, to learn , and to grow. This faith will help you maintain your sense of humor.
let kids know you love them. This is easy. Simply tell them. Write them notes. Tell someone else when they cam overhear you. Trust teenagers to be teenagers, and you’ll find them easier to love. It’s hard to feel loving when your expectation are crushed, but if you count on your teens to act like teens, you won’t feel disappointed very often.
It’s too late to force them to learn lesson, so give it up. It’s not too late to teach, but only your help is requested. You can ask your kids if they’s like to hear what you think or if they want or need your help. If they said no, then back off. Some kids this age think they know everything, don’t argue. Let them have the last word. No one will remember the point in a week anyway, but a bruised relationship is remembered into adulthood. If you give information, give it without strings or demands that it be followed.

Count on teenagers to be obnoxious – step back and try to see it as cute. When they push you too far, set your own limits and follow through or ask they like to be alternative. It’s easier to so these things than to try t change a teen. Don’t ever embarrass or correct your teens in front of their friends and never compare them to their friends and siblings.

Learn to listen without giving advice or trying to fix things. Just listen. Kids feel better when they feel heard. If you have something to say to teens, speak from your feelings and your ideas rather than lecturing them or trying to tell them how to think. Watch out for judgment and blame. Use he word we when working things out. Finger-pointing with a teen leads either to a lack of faith in themselves or to revenge against you.

Validate your teen's biological clock. Eliminate the shame and guilt kids may have for doing what is normal at their stage of development. It’s great relief to your kids when you let them know it's okay to feel and think exactly the way they do.